Top 5 Lies Fake Martial Artists Keep Telling Everyone (And What They Really Mean)
This article is part of our series on the subject of "Fake Martial Arts". Read more:
- Why Fake Martial Arts Exist (And Why They Always Will?)
- Top 12 Signs Your Martial Arts School Is A McDojo
- Top 15 Signs Your Martial Arts Teacher Is Fake
- What Is A Kung Fu LARPer?
- Jet Li on Fake Masters & What Is Real Kung Fu
Have you ever met someone who claimed they practiced martial arts, or that they were a master of a certain style, but you weren't quite sure if they were legit, or just full of crap?
Or are you tired of the constant lies and excuse making that fake martial artists keep telling themselves, and other people, when their martial arts fails them during sparring / fighting?
We know we are.
Here are the top most commonly seen / heard lies that fake martial artists will peddle in order to protect their fragile egos, and what they really mean when they say this.
1. "My Art Is Too Deadly To Spar / Fight With. I Would Kill You."
Translation: "I never practice real live sparring, I can't actually use my martial arts in a fight, so I choose not to spar / fight because I know I'll get beat up / embarrassed / killed."
This isn't a jab at Chinese Kung Fu, but just take a look at this book cover. Do you really think you can conjure up some kind of energy field and just throw somebody into the air like this?
Martial artists who claim their art or style is too deadly to spar with, are full of crap, and everyone who fights knows this.
They may only practice forms, do compliant drills, and talk theoretical / philosophical babble but never spar using their martial arts.
The reason they don't spar or pressure test their skills is because they're not very good and don't want to be beat (get their egos crushed) in an actual non-compliant sparring scenario.
This type of scenario (excuse) is quite similar to the mid-autumn festival fight scene in Ip Man 4 between Colin Frater (Chris Collins) and the Monkey Fist Master Law (veteran Kung Fu actor Lo Mang).
Master Law responds to Colin Frater's challenge, "you're forcing me to KILL you then?"
Once the fight actually starts, Master Law gets beat to a pulp in two blows by Colin Frater, an actual fighter.
And this is how 99% of fake martial artists are when they get into a real fight.
This is because practicing "deadly" techniques are not reliable in real fights, because they cannot be practiced in sparring with full resistance.
The history of how Japanese Jiu-Jitsu evolved into Judo, and eventually Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, has proven this. Judo removed most of the "too deadly to be trained" techniques from Jiu-Jitsu, and as a result Judo fighters started mopping up all the Jiu-Jitsu fighters because they could train their techniques with full resistance during sparring.
Now, arts such as Japanese Jiu-Jitsu or Aikido are more of an art form and self defense art, rather than martial arts that can be used for realistic, full contact fighting scenarios.
2. "My Art / Style Is Not Meant For Sport / Ring."
Translation: "I can't compete with actual trained fighters and athletes who compete at a high level. I'll stick to demonstrating my techniques on beginners or untrained hobbyists."
This one is a common one, and while an argument can be made with some martial arts styles and what they were originally designed for (warfare, weapon disarms, military, street fighting), this is mostly just another excuse for fake martial artists to use to get out of having to prove their worth in a real fight.
Trained, professional "sport" fighters can use the exact same techniques you use, except they're much more capable of using them because they actually practice fighting, unlike fake martial artists.
Fake martial artists who overly rely on this excuse forget the fact that "sport fighters" can do the exact same thing they're doing, ie. illegal street fighting techniques, but with the full force that they've trained for inside the ring.
3. "I'm [insert lofty claim of fight record, training experience, knowledge of hidden / secret techniques], But I Will Not Show You Because You're Not Worthy!"
Translation: "I know nothing of value, but I like to be a negative condescending pretentious a**hole, so I'll just spread negativity by telling you that you're no good, and that I'm better, but I won't / will never prove this to you because you're not good enough to see my secret hidden deadly techniques that my master taught me."
This is probably one of the worst excuses of all time.
At least with the first two excuses, you might give them the benefit of the doubt that they truly believe they are too deadly, and won't fight because of it.
But with this sort of excuse, there's no doubt at all that they are blatantly lying, and saying something even they themselves don't believe is true.
When asked to produce evidence (such as photos or video), they never provide any actual proof of what they're saying, and keep pressing forward about how their technique / knowledge is superior to yours, and continue on with their mental masturbation of how much greater they are than you.
Actually, never mind.
If they actually believe and behave this way consistently, then they're actually completely delusional.
4. "Your Technique Is Wrong, It Wasn't At The Right Angle. This Is How You Should Have Done It, At This Angle, With More Relaxed Structure, blah blah..."
Translation: "I want to act like I'm a much more knowledgeable "master" and I want to gate keep others from being popular or right, so I'll step on others to put them in their places. I'll type out long paragraphs of nonsense over-explaining what you're doing wrong, but I have no video proof that I can do what I just said either, so you'll just have to take my word for it."
This type of behaviour usually comes from pretentious, snobby, possibly old or bitter (or maybe both) pretenders who have trained martial arts for a long time, but (most likely) never actually got good at any of it, so they feel the need to make up for it by instructing others incessantly.
Knowing that they're likely average martial artists who never actually achieved anything significant themselves in the martial arts world, they desperately hang around forums / the internet seeking attention, and peddle their "knowledge" on unsuspecting or younger martial artists in hopes that someone, somewhere out there will lend them an ear to listen to their fake philosophical babble or take their words seriously.
Instead of giving others, or the newer / younger generation compliments and guidance, they try desperately to cling onto "old glory" by propping themselves up on a high horse, instructing others and giving others unsolicited advice in a condescending way on how to train better or fix their techniques.
5. "Nice progress! Much improved!" (When said in a disingenuous way)
Translation: "I can now see that you're no joke, you have legitimate skills, and that my childish assumptions about you were wrong.
I always knew you were better than me, but I just didn't want to publicly admit it until now, now that ignoring acknowledgment of your skills has become impossible.
In order to save face and not admit to my wrongdoings or admit that I am in fact of a lower skill level / quality of a martial artist than you, I will give you a backhanded compliment such as complimenting you for your progress in your skill / technique, but also not fully complimenting you in order to deflect admitting that you are in fact better than me in order to protect my own shattered ego.
I am also secretly jealous of your skills and progress that you've made so quickly in a short period of time, practicing the same martial art as I have done for many years. Whereas you’ve made improvements leaps and bounds, I have not.”
This is without a doubt the worst martial artist you can be.
If you cannot give compliments to others genuinely and admit that someone else is simply better than you in the same martial art that you both practice, you are just a sore, bitter loser, and you will never be good at martial arts with this type of piss poor attitude.
Did we miss any other excuses that you think should have been included on this list? Sound off in the comments below.
And remember - if you meet or see anybody who sounds like some of the excuses included on this list - they're a fake martial artist.
Steer clear and ignore at all costs.
- Dynasty Team